Bits
Identifying explosive creativity. I began reminiscing on a bull named Reindeer Dippin’, barrel riders, and bull riders. Coming from a family with professional rodeo parents, my upbringing has a lot to do with how I view farm life, hooved animals, and my connection to dirt. Nostalgia captured me upon viewing the footage of Reindeer Dippin on YouTube. This legendary bull has been the only bull in PBR history that had me so enthralled with his performance presence that I bought his poster and followed his career. Maybe it was the black mascara-like rimmed eyes and his overall chic beauty of white face and black body.
Bucking bulls are not pretty. Reindeer Dippin' was the exception. But what really got me was his way of exploding from the chute. He seemed to go in 5 directions at once - north, south, east, and west AND UP all at the same time.
“Riders did not like to draw Reindeer Dippin.
He never bucked the same way twice and they couldn’t figure him out.”
- Cindy Rosser, Flying U Ranch where Reindeer Dippin retired.
The announcers described this as a young bull, green, and new to the arena, but they were incorrect. The unpredictable explosion became Reindeer Dippin's trademark. He just didn't know which direction to head for, so he chose all 5. Of course, this gave him the title “Un-rideable” and “rank bull” which propelled him to PBR history.
Reindeer Dippin was a sensation in the sport of bull riding. His extreme athleticism, his total unpredictability, his intense attitude, and his distinctive good looks captured fans wherever he bucked. He was one of a kind.
The 1500-pound bull that looked like a “Reindeer” when he bucked, competed in the PBR for 6 years, retiring in 2008. Over the course of his career, the bull earned the title of 2004 Bull of the NFR and was chosen to buck at the PBR World Finals 5 times. His overall lifetime record: 93/5
8 Seconds is not meant for the riders, it's meant for the safety and the well-being of the animals. After eight seconds the bull or the horse loses adrenaline, it gets tired and its bucking ability decreases. Coming out of the PBR chute 93 times, only 5 riders made the 8 second ride successfully on Reindeer Dippin’.
“You never knew what he was going to do. He’d blow this way and then that way. And that made riders not want to get on him. PBR’s live stock director Cody Lambert wanted to cut him. But fans were drawn to the PBR to see Reindeer and so the PBR kept the bull in the draw.” C.R.
'I travel to other worlds, and back again daily.' #Ginger the Brave
Bridles
Guides and constraints for explosive creativity. Emotions, inner child awareness, and shadow work. The efforts required to becoming real always seek new doorways: for it is a lifetime commitment, a journey to wonderment. I live by principles which help keep me on the right road. When called to share my story of my experience, strength, and hope, I do so with great delight but great fear. Delight because I am my favorite topic. Fear because rigorous honesty is required to maintain truth opposite of self-will. The aim is to be the exact opposite of the ego, the true id. I can only describe the feeling as telling the story of one who faced certain death, but was given a new chance at life instead. Unmerited, pure grace.
'I Live Straight as an Arrow.' #Ginger the Brave
Drop The Reins
Open to creativity. The red cover of' 'Atlas of the Heart' by author Brené Brown beckons me. My new art journal for this year is the same color red. My word for 2024 is 'Rise' meaning: to impact like a fire. It coordinates beautifully.
With some curiosity I look at the section with bent page edges. Its title reads: #8, Places We Go When We Fall Short - Shame, Self-Compassion, Perfectionism, Guilt, Humiliation, Embarrassment.
Shame is raging at my kids.
“Shame is the fear of disconnection – it's the fear that something we've done or failed to do, an ideal that we've not lived up to, or a goal that we've not accomplished makes us feel unworthy of connection.” (Brown, pg. 137).
Wait! I've graduated from 'Braving The Wilderness' and I'm living in my own true self, I am worthy of belonging, and I am practicing connection. So why am I struggling with the issues of rage and perfectionism [again].
I remind myself of my buoy line: Positivity → Sobriety → Persona
I have strayed off course. I have allowed negativity back into my life. I cannot control the negativity coming from others in my life. I cannot control the environment or the noise. Have I been setting my boundaries? Setting boundaries is an act of self-compassion. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. Setting boundaries protects my creative self. Setting boundaries says I am worthy of love and belonging. Setting boundaries honors the life given me to live.
So drop the reins.
'I Know There Are Horses In Heaven.' #Ginger the Brave
Practice. Adopting the wellness mindset is like flexing a muscle. The more I use the muscle, the stronger it becomes. When negativity seeks to pull me in, I can choose to act with love and kindness. As the old-timers taught me, “Let the evil die with you.” Meaning: Do not react; Do not spew more negativity back into the situation; nor be a gossip.
With the desperation of a drowning person, I grab hold to the lifesaver tossed in my direction. This is cultivating a resilient spirit. Shame would say somehow I have failed because I am washed out-to-sea by the negativity surrounding me. The truth is life is messy. People will never act the way I wish. I am not the director of life and this is not my stage. To change my world, the change begins with me. It's hard and doesn't seem fair to have to do the soul work. If I desire personal growth, I am to lean into the discomfort with joy, gratitude, and grace.
The truth is, the more I am willing to practice vulnerability, the more grounded of a person I become.
And I find the freedom to drop the reins.
Beautiful writing, God is using you in amazing ways!