Curiouser and Curiouser
what it was like, what happened, and what it's like now
Where we go when we Search for connection
Belonging
Fitting In
Connection
Disconnection
Insecurity
Invisibility
Loneliness
Bluey, The Sign, and Song
BLUEY > Watching the final season episode of BLUEY once again dissolved me to tears. This show is an amazing family wonder to share with all ages. Based in Australia, the story is real and the house actually exists - it's just told from the perspective of a family of blue heelers rather than humans. The insights are deep, authentic, and teach with humor.
THE SIGN > The title of the last episode is about the problem of making decisions and not knowing outcomes. The Sign is a play on words and meaning. There are so many double entendres in the storyline that any other show would be farcical, but the writers of BLUEY are brilliant. No spoilers here. This BLUEY is simply a must watch.
SONG > This strange, moving song is sung by Megan Washington, also the voice of Calypso in BLUEY, the teacher. The title of the song is The Lazarus Drug. A strange choice for a family show - maybe.
Excerpt from Australia Today:
The song that plays over the final scene of the special is “Lazarus Drug” by Australian singer Meg Washington. Judging from the lyrics, there doesn’t seem to be any particular connection to the events of Bluey—it’s just a beautiful song that creator Joe Brumm reportedly fell in love with when he first heard it several years ago.
But there is a special connection to the show itself. In addition to being a hugely successful musician, Washington is none other than the voice of Calypso, Bluey’s teacher.
Washington said, “Bluey‘s been changing my life since episode one, but to be a part of this amazing episode and where my song is played at the end and just how it’s been all put together, it feels like a small miracle to me.”
The Bluey Song {watch on YouTube}
Lyrics:
… And then I start to break
Into a billion pieces
Oh, I shatter into constellations
Like I’ve never been more here
Like I completely disappear
I’m nothingness, but shining
And everywhere at once
I’m everything and everyone who is or ever was
And You’re nothingness, but shining and everywhere at once
You’re everything where everyone who is or ever was, forever.
There is a tumultuous stirring in my soul as I watch the ending. Yes, I dissolve into tears as well. The emotions of the music and the storyline of this final season episode is so full, traveling the entire spectrum of human emotions of trying to figure life out.
Finally, serendipity has its say. Through a series of unexplained events, seemingly disconnected, the loose ends connect the characters, their decisions, and the meaning of the episode.
I say, "Well done!"
"When was the last time you were proud of yourself?"
Connection. Working for the owners of eight Curves franchises introduced me to a social life, surrounding myself with women of all ages, learning the health side of fitness, and coming to know about a man named Gary Heavin, the founder of Curves for Women.
The husband and wife team, the owners of the eight franchises, established a ninth Curves in Townsend, Australia. I was offered a position to be part of setting up the main office in Australia, then perhaps relocating there.
As a single parent of a special needs daughter, I did not entertain the move as a viable option for my life. I remained in California, at the main office of the eight Curves and the couple went and opened Townsend, Australia. Following a successful 6 months, the wife, a dual citizen of South Africa and the USA became the Curves director for the Fiji Islands. The husband returned to California due to his expired work visa.
The caption reads "When was the last time you were proud of yourself?" on the poster I have in a floater glass frame. It is a Curves ad printed in old-fashion sepia tones. The photograph is of a little girl dressed up in her mother's sundress, sporting a feather boa, huge sunglasses, mom's high heels, and a smile as big as the sky. The photograph and its statement became a keepsake.
Disconnection. Making the wrong connections can create disconnections. From friends and loved ones who fall to the sides. This is my story of making bad relationship choices. I excavated some reasons as to the why of it all, but the damage had been done. The fallout event led to even more fallout. A cascade of drowning and finding the exits quickly became necessary for survival and self-preservation of dignity.
The connection became a disconnection. The loser of both sides.
Life choices. During this period I met my Alanon sponsor, Bonnie W. With my 20 years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous, I became a double winner. I became a member of Alanon. Not very commendable though - for my motives were not pure. I had a hidden agenda.
Secretly, I just wanted to learn enough to stay in a rocky relationship with another recovering alcoholic. I had heard that divorce is not always necessary for Alanons when their partners have a slip (aka 'a loss of sobriety'). It was not long until I was in the meetings for myself.
I stayed. The marriage did not.
Outcomes. As with BLUEY, the outcomes of a decision just have to play out.
"We'll see."
Sometimes fate is involved for good, and sometimes it's just not meant to be. In my decisions and the ensuing outcomes, I tried and failed. "Better than not to have tried at all," I console myself. I learned about myself, about life, about unforgiveness, and about forgiveness.
The lessons cannot be bought, they are earned.
Inner Phrases. As I have given Negativity its burn notice, I will now share another phrase for my inner critic:
"Coulda Shoulda Wouldas be Damned!"
If I could have picked up my violin twenty years ago and followed my music dream, how timely of me. Maybe I should have moved to Australia and embraced an absolutely fearsome life, how very cool of me. (But 300 types of venomous snakes? Nope). What if I would have married the other guy, so smart of me.
I didn't do any of those things. And I am grateful. The life I chose on my alternative routes kept me sober.
I am living life in the NOW.
I'm Calling Out Procrastination Too. The realization that procrastination has become an obsession within me, stealing my focus, stealing my energy, stealing my creativity dawned on me when 'starting new things' became almost impossible. The 'plan to start' overtook the actual doing.
The very act of procrastinating feels like obsessing. The definition of procrastination, according to psychology is: a self-defeating pattern of behavior. This pattern can start with the fear of 'whatever', or from social pressures - real or imagined, and the act of procrastinating actually increases one's feelings of stress, anxiety, and guilt.
Although I have no active substance abuse, the disease of alcoholism (a spiritual disorder coupled with a physical allergy and a compulsion of the mind) is still within a recovered person. The disease waits and can come in stealthy and insidious forms of self-defeating patterns of behavior. Left unchecked, these traits cancel out the joy of sobriety and finally, sobriety itself.
Sobriety is a grow or go program of life. Recovery or relapse. Only two choices. There can be no standing still.
Daring to Come Alive. Of all people, I believe those who live a transformed life of real sobriety are those who dare to come alive. A spiritual awakening occurs and this is not ignored or taken lightly.
All those who experience the great personality change, the 180 degree turn-around, as described in Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book), can attest to this fact. The courage to sustain the new life comes with continued building of a spiritual relationship with the God of their understanding.
"No human power could have relieved our alcoholism, but God could and would if sought." ~ Alcoholics Anonymous, (pages 58-71)
Chapter 5 - How It Works
We are not left dangling on a rope of a new life and a new path with white knuckles. On the contrary - it is the most exciting and rewarding way to live.
It is having a connection, a real connection with the Creator of the Universe on a daily basis. What an extraordinary gift for the hopeless drunks and drug addicts.
I believe I was born an alcoholic and addict through no fault of my own, but once the hand of sobriety was out-stretched to me, it became my responsibility to actively participate in my own recovery.
This is what long-term recovery looks like for me.
God bless those who are sober and may God bless those who are destined to become sober.
G.S.
https://youtu.be/b0Pbx815mWk?si=hxR1PoYNdFJnW462 correct link to THE BLUEY SONG
Well done! You have so much to offer to so many! Keep on keeping on! Love you!