Currently, my latest teddy bear works are on display in ’Art Uplifts’ Show at the Jacklyn Arts Center, Post Falls, Idaho. I celebrate this win to enter and be part of the annual show. 2026 marks 40 years of creating art in recovery, and 30 years being a teddy bear artist designer.
Ephemerality
Ephemerality is the state or quality of lasting for only a very short time; it refers to transience, fleetingness, or impermanence. It stems from the Greek word for “lasting only a day,” highlighting a rapid ending.
In Nature: the fading beauty of a sunset, a shooting star, and a mayfly’s short life.
In Life & Experience: the fleeting nature of human moments, fame, and the “ephemerality of life” itself.
In Art & Culture: street art, ice sculptures, performances, and sand sculptures on the beach that exist temporarily.
The subject of Time is important in life, measured first in months as a newborn then in age by subsequent number of years. There seems to be comfort in gathering years, until it is not. For some, aging is unwelcome. For me, only because of sobriety, aging has become a privilege. Yes, there was that moment I looked in the mirror and asked, “When did I get so old?”
I rather like the poem read today by Beth Kempton in SoulCircle Writing Community. Paraphrased, it went something like this:
On aging the remarks are made: “They let themselves go.”
But, the wise woman says: “If I don’t change, then what was it all for?”
The beauty of the wise woman transcends the ephemerality of the Plastic Barbies who tan and tuck and fill and squish and still- age. The poem in its entirety is So Old by Donna Ashworth in Life by Donna Ashworth (Black & White Publishing) p.119
The subject of Time is important in recovery as well. Humorously, I have never heard someone discount a 25 year anniversary to being ‘oh, twenty-something’. Time in recovery marks many hard won battles, multiple trials overcome, many losses met, much grief felt, and a myriad of fears dealt with— successfully. Perhaps, facedown but one is still in The Arena and that is victory.
Looking back, a post from April 2025:
‘I feel pride gratitude in having 40 continuous years of sobriety. And now having 40 years in my rearview mirror, I am heading toward the next milestone. There is never an arrival point. This is a lifetime Road of Wonder to travel. The next book on my road to discover more about my own recovery and find answers/awakenings, God willing, awaits— Destination: Joy.’
41 Years Present
“Didja see it? Didja see it?” - Larry
Either you hear the music or you don’t. Larry hears the music.1
- Earnie Larsen, Destination: Joy, 2003.
See.
Sober is living in the now. The gift of sobriety is the Present.
There is more to unwrap.
Beyond the 10,000 meetings, the books read, the stories told, the inventories written, the sponsor talks, the 12-step calls, the frustration of getting real, the hitting new bottoms, reaching the mountaintops, walking in the fourth dimension, finding a new way of life, and living One day at a Time— growth continues to be required. There is no ‘resting on one’s laurels,’ there are no ‘glory days’ in recovery where one reached the ‘Finish Line’. This is not a negative for us. The lure of greater spiritual growth and personal awakening propels one forward, perhaps nudged/kicked at times by God’s spirit. We are people known to carpet our own ruts. Complacency is deadly. Its best friend, Forgetfulness waits for every opportunity to usher us back down the slippery slopes. Progress or regress. There is no standing still in recovery.
In 2025, I mentioned a new adventure in sobriety awaits. For years, I have struggled with not having a sense of ‘Abundance and Joy’ coupled with attending meetings and feeling triggered by some stories. In my early sobriety, my sponsors skipped over parts of my history because they either 1. had no experience of, or 2. felt unqualified at the time to address and offer guidance about. So, there became pockets and holes in my story that I did not share, did not write about, and hoped by ignoring would finally fade in time be forgotten. Time heals all things, right?
Prior to 2025, I had not heard the term of Stage III Recovery. Stage I recovery is Beginning Sobriety, Stage II recovery is Living Sobriety— discussed in Bill W’s Grapevine Letters, Emotional Sobriety: The New Frontier, 2025. The research to field my questions and find my specific answers led me to a different book— Destination: Joy, Moving Beyond Fear, Loss, and Trauma by Earnie Larsen, 2003. Enter Stage III Recovery.
And then we come to Stage III Recovery - moving beyond childhood trauma.
April 2026:
“I have taken a year and dug deep into The Legacy of Childhood Abuse in Recovery. Not everyone has this story to tell. Not everyone has experienced the damage done in childhood abuse. If I want full recovery, to find Abundance & Joy, then my legacy of childhood abuse must be addressed. So, I have opened dark doors and met the monsters. I have gone as far deep as the hurt went. It was terrifying and darker than I imagined. I explored the What, the Why, the Where, and the Who. And I found: Here Be Monsters.
Ancient mapmakers simply wrote “here be monsters” over the entire area that existed beyond their knowledge and experience. (page 91).
A new adventure began a year ago. I will continue posts about my long-term recovery (Oh, Dear God!) in this section: Aºtlas of My Heart.
the cards we’re dealt
without reality, there is no genuine acceptance
it doesn’t matter why they did it
our recovery has nothing to do with ‘them’
we walk a crooked road
our way is not as others’
we start from a very different place
If you’re like me, we have tightly controlled gateways in life. When others’ reached the starting line, we were somewhere twenty miles back. Now I understand why.
The harder the work, the more we must keep our eyes on the goal” abundance and joy.
Which way to Wonderland?
abundance
Abundance is the term we use to describe moving deeper into God as we move deeper into ourselves. Know God, know Thyself. As our experience of God deepens day by day, year after year, we increasingly move out of self-reliance to God-reliance.
Have I seen the face of Joy?
joy
Only when a person has been in the deepest darkness can he or she fully appreciate the glory of the light.
Recovery is the call that asks us to step forward.
It’s accepting we are chosen, that we are the ones, that we are special, that we are loved.
The program tells us to carry this message to others who can’t accept their own worth and beauty.
We tell others to let us love them until they are able to love themselves.
And there it is— there is abundance and joy.
Because of this past year’s journey, I have written my manuscript dealing with childhood trauma recovery with love, hope, and humor— a very original hybrid memoir, meant to be used for reference and give inspiration. Currently finishing edit mode and slated for self-publishing in late May as the ‘literary agent + publishing house’ route is just too daunting and unpredictable.
I will be posting updates on book progress and where the book can be purchased.
I thank you for your continued support in reading, following, or subscribing.
God bless those who are sober and may God bless those who are destined to become sober.
G.S.
Destination Joy: moving beyond fear, loss, and trauma in recovery. Earnie Larsen. 2003.
well there's an awful lot in that there post, Ginger.... I don't know where to start with comments, but it inspired a lot of thought. I'm very interested to see the final version of your book. Let us know how that comes along. This phrase struck deeply in me 'it doesn’t matter why they did it, our recovery has nothing to do with them'. It's so true - I've had my own trauma to cut loose and the essence of this phrase was key. Sometimes there is no why.... and why doesn't serve us anyway. Our own agency is much more powerful than the analysis of 'why'.