Finding the keys to unlock the doors and dark paths.
Places We Go When Life is Good
Joy
Happiness
Calm
Contentment
Gratitude
Foreboding Joy
Relief
Tranquility
Now is a Gift ~ that's why it's called The Present.
a saying
Key of Joy
If we could but contain JOY in a bottle and store it away for the times of darkness that do come - would be better off? I don't know, but I have been given the keys of the kingdom in recovery.
Joy is a miracle that appears
like a rainbow surprise in the sky,
like a cool mist on a hot day,
like the sudden hug from a grandchild,
like an unexpected butterfly of happiness
fluttering to life as a feeling.
Uncontainable.
Unscheduled.
Fleeting.
Don't miss your joy
by being too busy,
too worried,
or too rigid.
Look for joy today,
wrapped in your moments,
just like a Gift.
If I had gotten all the things I asked for, I would not have this right now.
my truth
Key of Gratitude
The practice of gratitude is a universal fix-it for despair, fear, grief, loneliness, or simply being un-centered. Why? I believe it is a way to get out of self and into good thinking. Thoughts precede feelings and feelings precede actions. Thoughts - Feelings - Actions. Change the thoughts and the feelings follow and the actions follow. It's one Key of the Kingdom.
Attitude of Gratitude has been a go-to throughout my recovery. Make that bed, make that gratitude list, make that phone call - all tools in my toolbox, but the gratitude one works best for me.
Next time, let the boy know you like him too.
a suggestion
unwanted Foreboding Joy
When we do not feel worthy, when we do not have self-confidence, when we don't feel we belong, when we compare ourselves to others, when we are afraid of good things happening, when we are not strong enough to handle success, when we feel less-than - then foreboding joy wins.
I can name a handful of relationships that never were due to my sense of foreboding joy. I had such a negative mindset. I had such a need to be certain. I had to be in control. Nothing could be left to chance.
These were learned behaviors to adapt and survive a childhood filled with religiosity and untruth. I learned to sabotage my own life. I knew what not taking risks felt like. It felt more comfortable than being vulnerable, or trusting, or allowing someone into my world who might turn around and leave me. I lived in the corridor of life instead of life in its fullest.
And so I became a self-fulfilling prophecy - incapable of forming lasting relationships - as written in the recovery books. Always on the run. One foot out the door like The Runaway Bride.
The Mess of Me
How did I overcome this mess of me?
By continuing to make progress in my recovery. By continually looking for paths to grow spiritually. By connecting with a therapist who I could honestly share my darkest parts and my deepest fears. A therapist who modeled self-confidence, self-acceptance, saw the humor in life, and recognized acts of bravery. I learned how to embrace my unlovely and discover the lovely of me. I started owning my own story.
At the same time, I found creative art journaling by reading The Gifts of Imperfection of Brené Brown and in her Ten Guideposts workshop. I apply The Wholehearted Life to my life. I look for ways to practice Courage, Compassion, Connection.
Daring greatly has become my lifestyle. I can speak up and speak out when necessary. I don't laugh at jokes that aren't funny. I no longer seek the approval of others. I desire to be the person I was created to be. I desire to walk the path created for me. I no longer second-guess my life or chase others' destinies.
I am free to follow my dreams and I don't have to explain myself. I stand on my own truth because I have taken the time to find out what my truth is.
The Keys Work
I have a program of action. I have found my positivity. I am finally standing in the sunlight at last. And there is no going back to the darkness for me. I am indeed blessed. I have been given the Keys of the Kingdom.
This is what long time sobriety looks like for me.
God bless those who are sober and may God bless those who are destined to become sober.
G.S.