Love & Jane

Aºtlas of My Heart

Sep 19, 2024

A Classic of an Inn

It is a spectacular place called The Biltmore Inn - an estate hotel in Ashbury, North Carolina. The main residence is a Châteauesque-style mansion built for George Washington Vanderbilt II between 1889 and 1895 and is the largest privately owned house in the United States, at 178,926 square feet of floor space and 135,280 square feet of living area. It is grandeur itself.

Hollywood MGM filmed 'His Merry Wife' on location in 1947. And in 2023, Hallmark Movie Channel filmed 'A Biltmore Christmas' at the same location. The new adaptation is the story of a screenwriter who travels to Biltmore Estate to find the original ending of 'His Merry Wife', from the 1947 holiday classic.

As the hourglass is dropped, and the time traveler stands transfixed, shocked by the inevitable repercussions, she hopes for the best outcome despite her fumble.

Uncertain but undaunted, which way the [EXIT]?

places we go when things are uncertain or too much #1

stress
overwhelm
anxiety
worry
avoidance
excitement
dread
fear
vulnerability

stress
overwhelm
anxiety
worry

[EXIT] Stage Left. These are words that conjure up immediate action and a call to escape. No one can analyze while in the experience of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, or worry without increasing that very state of feeling. Taking the action to do the opposite of works well: stress/delete expectations, overwhelm/open the mind, anxiety/practice acceptance, worry/faith and trust. Sometimes running is the best course. Sometimes simply stopping everything, because nothing else works.

It's hard to figure out [When you're IN IT].

Worry is my #1 kryptonite. My nickname as a child was 'Worry-wart' - for heaven's sakes. Apparently for my propensity to say my fears out loud and whatever could go wrong. It was a point of humor to my parents, who were not mean or insensitive just unaware. I think a discerning spirit was placed in me at a very young age.

'Do Not Fret.' - Psalm 37

I look at the neck of my mandolin and I see frets all the way down. Frets are raised bars that mark the beginning and end point of a space where the fingers are placed. Called the fretboard, this enables the player to play an exact note on a specific string. If I am fretting about something, I am in a space between two 'Do not pass' spaces.

avoidance
dread
fear

The End.
Nothing can terrify me more than being fired from a job, losing my purse, being told I don't measure up in a relationship, gaining 25 pounds, or wondering if I will stand up to tyranny at the end of all things.

I can't see right now because I am covering my eyes. G.S.

Passages.
It's no wonder that when I read Brené Brown I had to collect all her books. I have journaled through her books beginning with The Gifts of Imperfection, created my Courage Boards in Daring Greatly, entered My Arena in Rising Strong, and found out in my year of being homeless great clarity and truth of Braving the Wilderness.

excitement
vulnerability

I call this Sobriety Without Remorse.
I love the life of recovery that continues to become richer in meaning, pulling me forward to grow as a person, as a woman, as a mother and grandmother. Who would have guessed that all I would be leaving behind by choosing recovery was certain death, insanity, or incarceration. Who would have guessed that every new day that dawns, lived one day at a time, holds its own excitement and surprise. I have yet to discover a downside to sobriety. I also have a healthy respect for this disease that tells me that I don't have a disease. But for the Grace of God, there go I. I am not keeping me sober. I am just a willing participant.

As I am writing, all credit must go to Aºtlas of The Heart1 for being a terrific prompt, guide, learner, and personal map to understanding my feelings.

Brown's book is a necessary catharsis to a better understanding as a Writer, Author, and Creative. I found my connection with her when she shared about her pu-pu platter of addictive behaviors and her resulting recovery {from everything under the sun, like myself}.

Which way to the [EXIT]?

When comfort zones become pools of stagnation, it's time for a new zip code. G.S.

Where did my clothes go?
Enter vulnerability. 'Vulnerability is not weakness; it's the greatest measure of courage' - Brené Brown. It's being naked and real in front of the world. It's putting our best efforts out there and falling flat on our face, or in our finding success. It's risking uncertainty for something better. It's allowing emotional exposure on the chance of making a connection that spins us to the moon and back again. It's finding the works of Jane Austen for the first time.

The Gift of Writing

Never trust a person who does not read books,
for they only listen to their own thoughts.
~ G.S.

If you've never read the books of Jane Austen, I have a recommendation for you. Who knows, we might meet one day in a Jane Austen Book Club. Here's a movie to watch:

Love & Jane

Books are Adopted from Bookshops.
Our imagination is sparked by the words of books. Books come to life when they are read especially those without pictures. Colors and scenes and our senses come alive simply by reading. Books can be powerful motivators for change. They can chart a new land, start an adventure, restore our humanity, encourage us, befriend us, live within us, and by reading we can change the course of history.

Proper Suitors Own Bovines.
In the time of Jane Austen, a man of means was a man of property and cows. Seriously! Cows give milk which feed babies. It was a simpler time when x + x = the correct answer. The variables were decipherable and definable. Human nature of course has always been the same, but culture and respectability rose to an apex in Jane's time.

Hmm, Romance the Right Way.
Read a couple of Jane Austen quotes and see the transparency of thought and written word. Truth in small sentences speaks louder of true love and feelings over hyper emotional fluff, pomp, night clubs and gutter language.

Writing, a Gift
The ability to be a writer is a gift. To paint pictures with words like an artist uses a canvas and paintbrushes. The writer is an architect of ideas building a structure of action. To build kingdoms or destroy worlds. To motivate or discourage. The power of writing is unfathomable.

Finding [The Exit].

The Series of 4 / 4 Letters:

Love Locks

Love Traveler

Love Starlight

Love At Last

and, 5/4 Love & Jane

Thank you for the visit and staying to read!

Epilogue

Several events over the past week strengthened my belief in serendipity. Although I have been under the weather and blasé about everything creative or over the edge with anxiety, I was reminded that everything works together for the good for those who Believe. My Alanon sponsor, Bonnie of Humboldt, constantly reminds me to always go back to the start with “Believe.”

Beth Kempton

Deep Journaling for 36 days has reached in and grabbed hold of my writer self to explore the darkness so I can see the Light inside and outside. Unbelievably, today was about Time: the voice that thunders and to write about my relationship with Time.

Inside the Studio

of Nikki Carr, UK Equine Master Artist
My equine painting has found itself facing the wall, too frightening and demanding to look at. Thankfully, the class has a two-week break and I can muster the courage to continue the underpainting soon. Oh, the hunt for the right filbert brush!